You look dumb

I hate your new haircut, Mark Sanchez.

xoxo,

Blanche Sanche

Jay Cutler

He is my least favorite.

I'm not sad that he broke his thumb.  It was probably all the sucking of his thumb in bed at night that weakened it.  I'm implying he's a big baby, in case you didn't catch that.

Go marry Kristin Cavallari (whom I can't believe took him back after he dumped her) and never come back.  Either of you.  Ever.

xoxo,

Blanche Sanche

Poor K. Ort!

Kyle Orton was waved by the Broncos today, after losing his starting job to everyone's least favorite disciple, Tim Tebow.  K. Ort was 1-4 while starting in Denver this season and now the Broncos seem to be winning in spite of Tebow, but I sincerely hope K. Ort ends up going to a team that can use his talents.

I was gunning for him to be signed to the Titans at the beginning of the season, before Matt Hasslebeck came along and I still hope good fortune finds him, even though we are over halfway through the season.

There are a number of teams that could benefit from the veteran quarterback.  First and foremost, the Texans.  With the loss of Schauby, the Texans are stuck with Matt Lienart who truly has the ability to drop them out of their division lead.  I think the Texans would be lucky to get K. Ort right now (though my Titans would be luckier if they didn't get him so that they could rocket to first place in the division)

Indianapolis could use him too, but if they are genuinely in the "Suck for Luck" pool, then there's no way they will even give him a second look.

It's rumored that he could go back to the Bears now that assface Jay Cutler is injured, but I really hope that's not true.  I think the Bears should give Caleb Hanie a shot.  He came in as the third string QB for them during the playoff game last year and played pretty damn well for third string.  I really think he should have the opportunity to helm the offense up there in Chicago.

Perhaps the Dolphins are ready to trade Matt Moore in for a new QB or the Redskins could be looking to replace Sexy  Rexy Grossman.  I couldn't even come up with the names of the starting QBs for Arizona or Seattle (John Skelton and Tevaris Jackson, respectively.  Thanks, Wikipedia!) so I'm sure they are in the hunt for new play makers.

Anywho, it will be interesting to see how it unfolds!

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Hey, Jake Locker...

I think I don't hate you.  And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Perhaps over half a season with Matt Hasslebeck has been enough for the Titans and now it's time to show Locker some love.  I'm not mad at it.  I think that his two touchdown passes to Nate Washington showed that the Titans need to play our rookie QB if we have any chance of winning our division.  Now that Schaub is out for the Texans, the Titans have a decent shot at the division and I think Locker, if he can keep up this momentum, could be the final piece in the puzzle.

Granted, this could just be a fluke, but I'd really like to see him get some field time for the rest of the season.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Eye Candy -- November 17, 2011

In honor of tonight's game against Denver, Mark Sanchez, quarterback of the New York Jets.  I was in attendance at last year's game in Denver, so I'm pretty much just crying at my desk since I can't be there this year.  All I want in life is to watch the Jets cream Tebow and his stupid face.  Guess I'll have to settle for watching this year's game on TV.  Saddest of sad mittens.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Eye Candy -- November 16, 2011

Arian Foster, running back for the Houston Texans.  Not only is this dude a beast on the field, but I sincerely believe that he's a genuinely nice human being.  I just started following him on Twitter ( @ArianFoster) and he tweets some of the sweetest things I've ever heard from a football player.  He often starts the hashtag #RAOC (random act of kindess) and sends love to his fans and haters alike.  He makes you believe that he is just a good dude who happens to be really great at football.  He's a rarity now-a-days.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Overwhelmed

I'm a terrible blogger.  I've contemplated writing many different entries, but they've never come to fruition.  Possibly because my fantasy football season is absolutely devastating and embarrassing to write about or, perhaps, because I know no one reads this anyway.  Whatever the reason, I'm gonna try again.

First and foremost, I have to get this off my chest: Why are people so mean to Mark Sanchez?  Seriously, I need to know.  All week, I've been reading about how much of a failure he is and how he needs to step up his game.  Now, I know he isn't the greatest QB to ever play the game, but Jesus, cut him some slack.  I watched the New England game on Sunday and what I saw wasn't as much of a Sanchez fail as it was a team fail.  The interception that bounced of the hands and helmet of Shonn Greene, not Sanche's fault.  The inability of the defense to get within 3 feet of Tom Brady, again, not the fault of Sanchez.  Overall, he had a pretty great game with 2 touchdowns and over 300 passing yards.  So, why does the blame fall consistently on his shoulders?

In addition, why is everyone talking about Alex Smith like he's all of the sudden some demigod in San Francisco?  Statistically, he's having a better season than Sanche, but he's made fewer throws, fewer touchdowns and he's been on the team for SIX years with NO production until now!  I've watched Niner games and I'm constantly baffled by how terrible Smith is.  The Niners rely solely on their phenomenal defense and running game to win, not on their QB.  It seems that all of his seasons of suckitude have now been erased because of this 8-1 year.

It seems to be forgotten that with Sanchez at the helm, the Jets went to the NFC championship two years in a row.  I'm not saying that it was because of him, lord knows it wasn't, but he was obviously playing well enough to get his team through to big games and he came through in clutch situations.  Alex Smith hasn't done dick for his team since they wasted their first round draft pick on him and still, they throw money at him and pay him for his poor performance.

Is it because he's so pretty?  Is it because he's the kind of guy who makes an easy target?  There are far worse QBs in the league than Sanche, yet he's the first one to be criticized by everyone in the media.  Go bother Tony Romo, Chad Henne, Rex Grossman, Donovan McNabb, or... do the Seahawks even have a quarterback???

All I'm saying is this, people need to have more confidence in Mark Sanchez.  When you get him in a hurry up offense, no huddle with the clock winding down, he's on fire.  When you give him the opportunity to throw those 10-12 yard throws, he's money.  It's when they start trying to go back to the "ground and pound" offense and when he gets too much time to get lost in his own head that things go awry.  He's solid in production, pretty mobile in the pocket and he just needs people to throw a tiny bit of confidence his way.

And I'm not just saying this because I want to have all of his babies.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Fantasy football Week 4

Seriously, last week was too embarrassing to even talk about and I think you know why.  Mark Sanchez had the world's most terrible game and, of course, I started him instead of Josh Freeman.  What was I thinking?!?!  Pretty much everything about last week sucked, so I'm not even going to justify it with a usual post.  Just know that it was messy, ugly and awful.

On to next week.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Random thoughts

It's been one of those weeks.  The kind where I wrote half-assed posts about my weekend then let the blog fall by the wayside.  I've had several different thoughts creeping into my head, but none of them garnered an entire post, so I'm going to put them all here.

First, and why I didn't address this earlier is beyond me, the Raiders broke Mark Sanchez' nose!  I definitely saw the trainers all up in his face while I was at the game, but I had no idea what was happening.  I actually didn't find out about it until I was driving back to Reno later that night (that's what happens when you are at Oakland Coliseum and have no service).  He's a tough one.  Lesser quarterbacks *cough* Jay Cutler *cough* probably would have benched themselves, but Sanche kept going until the end.  Good job, bro!

Next: Does anyone else think it's great that Michael Vick is having a crappy season thus far?  I mean, after last season, he was a god, he got that GIANT contract, people had seemingly forgotten about his dog killing.  Now, he's playing like the Michael Vick of old and I couldn't be happier.  He's even trailing Jason Campbell....

After my loss last week, I'm trying to bring my A game to my fantasy football league.  I hit the jackpot with my running backs, MJD and LeSean McCoy, this season.  I never thought I would be so happy to not have Chris Johnson on my roster!  But the loss of Kenny Britt has thrown me for a loop.  I picked up Torrey Smith and Percy Harvin, but since Smith could be a one-time fluke, I'm left deciding between Harvin and Robert Meachem for my third wide receiver slot.  I'm leaning toward Harvin, in case Coleston comes back for New Orleans, but I'm not familiar with either player, so we'll see how this plays out.  Also, I have Jason Witten and Dustin Keller fighting it out for my tight end spot.  I think Witten wins this week.  And for QBs, I've got Sanche (who I've got starting, even though they are playing the Ravens), but it's hard not to put Josh Freeman against the shaken Colts.  Ugh.  This is when I start to become a stressball about fantasy football!

Finally, and this is just a personal note, it's my first full weekend in my new place!  I'm completely moved, I'm not traveling, and, though I have to unpack everything, I get to fully enjoy all my football channels!  Looks like I won't be leaving my house.  Well, that's a lie.  In addition to being a football addict, I'm also training for my second half marathon and by "training", I really mean I should be training.  I have the Nike Women's half marathon in 3 weeks, but I haven't run since my Disneyland half marathon at the beginning of September.  Let's hope I can tear myself away from football for long enough to go on a big run this weekend.  I sure need it!  Wish me luck!

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Fantasy football Week 3

This week should be entitled, "Oh how the mighty have fallen."

Welp, there goes my winning streak.  I knew it was too good to be true.  While I was trying not to get killed in Oakland, my fantasy football team was getting their asses handed to them.  Most notably, Kenny Britt tore his ACL in the game against Denver, leaving me with a -.20 in that WR position.  And Nate Burleson's 1.2 points didn't help me much either, nor did my Jets defense and their inability to stop the Raiders running game.

On a very positive, and surprising, note, Mark Sanchez had a helluva game in Oakland.  I've had Sanche on my roster for 2 years and I can't remember him having a better game.  Say what you want about Mark Sanchez, but I really think he is on his way to becoming an amazing quarterback.  I put all my faith in him, even though my co-worker suggested I start Josh Freeman last week.

Let's talk about this shit show and how many injuries I have on this damn team.  Mario Manningham, out.  Aaron Hernandez, out.  Kenny Britt, out.  Braylon Edwards, out.  I honestly don't think there is a thing I can do to salvage this team at this point.

I can only hope that I can pick up some wide receivers and tight ends on waivers, otherwise it looks like my amazing season could be going nowhere fast.

xoxo,

Blanche Sanche

NFL, Oakland style

Jealous?

And there it is, folks.  My view of Sunday's Jets v. Raiders game in Oakland.

I knew Oakland was going to be a scary place for a Jets fan to be, so I opted for a gray Jets t-shirt with a black Under Armour zip-up to blend in with the Raider Nation.  Even on the BART to the game, I cautiously kept my UA zipped, only revealing the gray of the shirt underneath.  I would shed the outer layer once I was safely in my seat.

Due to leaving SF late and BART schedules, we missed kick off and the first touchdowns of each team.  I was bummed.  It took forever just to get into the stadium and find our seats once we did finally arrive.  The people around us were very nice.  They heckled me a bit for being a Jets fan, but it was mostly friendly.  My favorite was the drunk guy with half his face painted black and silver that kept putting his hand in my face and saying, "Psssssssshh!" like a 14 year old girl every time I cheered.

Perhaps it's the negativity of the stadium, but it felt like the Jets were having the worst game of their careers.  It seemed the defense couldn't stop the run game and Mark Sanchez couldn't complete passes.  Then there was the Cromartie fumble on the return kick and I wanted to cry.  It was horrible to watch.

Such a pretty man

The upside was that the visitor's bench was directly in front of me, as was the exercise bike, so Sanche was maybe 10 yards away from me the entire game.  I even saw the trainers fixing his nose, though I had no idea it had been broken in the first place.

Burnell is standing up; Sanche is behind the second helmet

I wish I had more to say about the game, but I left feeling very unsatisfied.  Not just because of the loss, but because I wasn't able to let loose and enjoy the game.  I was so worried about getting the crap beat out of me by Raider fans, that I didn't cheer much and I didn't even like being there.  As evidenced by the video below, I'm really glad I kept to myself.

I kinda wish I had just stayed home.

xoxo,

Blanche Sanche

I'm not a doctor, but...

Look, Ma! I'm playing with the big boys now!

I find it really hard to believe that Tony Romo has a punctured/collapsed lung and is still going to play on Monday night.  Not to mention the cracked ribs....

I don't like Tony Romo.  Perhaps it's his previous love affairs with Jessica Simpson and Carrie Underwood that rub me the wrong way or maybe it's how long his sleeves are on his jerseys.  Let's be honest, it's the sleeves.  He looks like he's playing pee wee football with those things!  However, if he is genuinely hurt, and I assume lung issues qualify as a semi-severe to severe injury, he needs to stay off the field and heal.

The thing that boggles my mind is this: how is Romo supposed to play with all these lung issues, but Nick Mangold is out for 2-3 weeks with a sprained ankle?  Again, I'm not a doctor, but something about that seems very wrong.

Dude

Of course, the weekend before I am to see him in Oakland, Nick Mangold gets a "high ankle sprain". If I didn't know better, I'd say he did it on purpose to avoid being face to face with me. Okay, okay. So we won't be face to face and that hit did look pretty gnar on Sunday, but I'm so disappointed. Nick is a big part of why I love the Jets so much and watching this game from my epic seats just won't be the same without him.

However, I just found out that Scotty McKnight was just re-signed with the Jets, so maybe all hope is not lost. I mean, even if Nicky doesn't make the trip to Cali, at least we will have 4 of 5 members of our hypothetical NSYNC karaoke troop.

Nick, I wish you a super speedy recovery! Those boys aren't as safe out on offense without you!

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Fantasy football Week 2

Another week of Willie Beamen reigning victorious over the rest of my office league. This week, I owe my win to Kenny Britt and LeSean McCoy again, but also to Rob Bironas (my always trusty kicker) and the Jets defense. It's really nice to have the top Running back and defense in the fantasy world. Not to mention all my other players that rank in the top 10.

The random league sucked this week. I lost, thanks to Mario Manningham's unproductive game last night. Oh well. Again, let's not focus on that league 'cause it just makes me sad.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Friday Night Lights

There's nothing more beautiful than the sun setting over a high school football game.  Okay, that's a lie, but it's gotta be somewhere in the top 20!

My best friend's husband is a high school football coach and this year, he was hired on at Reed High, the high school I went to.  Going back so many years later (I won't tell you exactly how many because it's depressing) feels almost like I never left.  The cool kids still hang out by the refreshment stand and don't really watch the games, while the parents and alums crowd the stands, cheering like maniacs for the home team.

Friday nights are my favorite part of the fall.  Watching kids play football is adorable.  Even at their best, they are still pretty terrible, but you can tell that they love it.  They love being out on the field and playing football.  For many, it's their last opportunity to play the game they love so much and for a select few, it's the beginning of careers, but they are all a team and they all play for the love of the game.

And we get to sit back and enjoy it!  Happy Friday, friends!

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Fingers crossed!

It's something I've always wanted to do, but never had the balls.  I search all the time, find one that seems perfect for me, then dismiss it because I think to myself, "I'd never get it anyway."  But today, I changed my attitude and submitted my resume.

I applied for a job with the NFL.


Though I'm at the age where I should know what I'm doing with my life and what I want to be when I grow up, I am clueless.  I love the job I have right now, but it's not something I want to do forever.  I want to be around something that I'm passionate about, something that I really want to learn more about.  So, when my friend sent me a link to this job, I decided to throw myself into the mix.  Even if I don't get hired, it doesn't hurt to try, right? What's that old saying, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"?  I think Wayne Gretsky was on to something.

I think this gave me just the motivation I need to apply for other jobs I've seen for ESPN and different individual ball clubs.  I think I'm destined to be a football girl for the rest of my life.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

The greatest E-Bay experience ever!

Gather 'round, friends, and let me tell you a tale of how I scored the most amazing seats for the upcoming Jets/Raiders game.  First, let me preface this story with the fact that I know going to a Raiders game is going to be terrifying and, quite possibly, fatal.  However, I can't allow the Jets to be this close to me and not risk my life to be there.  I'm a real fan.

Anyway, after spending weeks checking StubHub for good, but inexpensive tickets, I was having no luck.  There were good-ish tickets, but they were at least $200 a piece (with shipping and processing fees).  I was beginning to think that I wasn't meant to go to this game.  Yesterday, I decided to check E-Bay because I'd purchased Titans/49ers tickets for really cheap a few seasons ago.

I was hitting the same wall on E-Bay, cheap and crappy seats or amazing but way overpriced.  I mean, it's Oakland, not MetLife Stadium!  Then, I found them.  Through the scalpers and all, there they were: tickets 6 rows up behind the visitor's sideline.  My heart began to race as I hastily placed my bid before realizing that there were almost 5 days left in the auction.  I knew someone else was going to get them or I was going to have to pay an arm and a leg for them, so I decided to be bold and email the seller to see if she could end the auction and give them to me.  It couldn't hurt, right?

The seller immediately wrote me back and said she would sell the tickets to me for $275 for the pair without handling or processing fees!  It turns out, she's a lady from Reno who lives very close to my office.  What luck!  She told me she would meet me somewhere to give me the tickets so I wouldn't have to mess around with the electronic tickets and so that "Mark could write his number on them" for me.

This morning, she emails me to ask where I should meet her and includes a picture of herself from Burning Man so that I know who to look for (which didn't help because no one in real life looks like they do at Burning Man).  Then she sent me a picture of Sanche, just for fun.  I swear, I've made a new BFF.

I get to the deli where we've agreed to meet, because I was having lunch with Blanche Collie Matthews there, and there she is.  A slightly older lady with blonde hair and rhinestones on her oversized sunglasses.  She gives me a hug before we exchange money and tickets and gushes about how much she loves her seats.  Then, even as we protest, she proceeds to buy me and Blanche lunch... with the money I've just given her!  Essentially that means I paid even less for the tickets.  Amazeballs!

As we wait, she asks where I work.  I tell her my boss' name and, it turns out, she used to be a client of his.  Reno is just too damn small!  We sit and chat about Burning Man and football until her to-go food arrives and she bids us farewell with another round of hugs.

I couldn't have been more lucky in this situation.  Everything worked out flawlessly and I finally get to be up close and personal with my Jets.  Now, I just have to worry about my wardrobe.

In case you are curious, here is a diagram of where my seats are.  The MS stands for Mark Sanchez, as that's where I estimate he will be when he's off field.  I get it, it's not to scale, but whatevs, I'm not an artist.

Jealous much?

xoxo,

Blanche Sanche

Jaguars fans, beware.

This is absolutely vile and disgusting.  Apparently, some Jaguars fan brought this little gem to their tailgate, in an attempt at humor.  Well, it's not fucking funny.  I cannot believe that anyone would mock McNair's tragic death with such a tasteless display.  I'm pissed.

McNair was not perfect; he was cheating on his wife when he was shot that Fourth of July morning, but he was a great quarterback, who played with injuries aplenty and never let them get in his way.  A lesson that Jay Cutler could learn from.  However, this is unacceptable.  It is not funny.  It is not friendly competition.  It is inhumane.

Sure, I make comments about players I don't like and how I wish bad things would happen to them, but I would never do something like this.  If Tom Brady or Kurt Warner were murdered, you wouldn't see me dressing up a skeleton with a bloody jersey.

Sorry your team is mediocre and is never talked about.  This is not the way to create publicity, Jacksonville.  I hope you have an absolutely terrible season.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

I really wouldn't mind if...

Someone broke Tom Brady's face tonight.  I mean, seriously Jason Taylor, do it for your division.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Fantasy football Week 1

Good news: I kicked ass in my office league! This week I was up against Blanche Manning and she didn't stand a chance. With great performances by Kenny Britt and LeSean McCoy, it didn't even matter that Austin Collie didn't play, leaving me with a big ZERO in that WR spot. MJD and Andre Johnson didn't fair so badly either.

Bad news: my random league was a fail. I do still have Aaron Hernandez to play tomorrow, but I highly doubt he will gain enough points for me to win. Oh well, I'm doing great in the league with $200 on the line.

Let's hope I can find a good WR to fill Collie's cleats.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

J-E-T-S!!!!

"Don't call it a comeback...."

If anyone doubted the full force power of the Jets, tonight's game showed everyone that you never count them out. They are a team the prays on your weaknesses and destroys you from within.

There were so many great plays in the second half, I can't decide who I would give the game ball to, if I were Sexy Rexy. The touchdown pass to Plaxico was perfection. I think that was a display of talent and experience that younger ball clubs miss out on because only a veteran can make moves like that. The Revis interception put us back in the game. He's totally worth all the money they throw at him! The blocked punt by Joe McKnight... Seriously could not have been a better executed play. And the long field goal by Nick Folk won them the game. It was a full team effort out there tonight!

Mark Sanchez has grown so much since last season. Yes, he was sacked (and had that terrible fumble) and yes he was intercepted, but it was the first time he's gone out and not been afraid to throw throw the ball. He looked confident. He looked like he deserved that captain C on his chest. And having LT, Keller, and Plax to throw to really helps too.

And, though it's been said by everyone already, it was only fitting that the New York Jets get a W on the 10th anniversary of 9/11. It must mean so much to the team and to the New York residents to bring joy and happiness to the city/state on a day that is marred in such tragedy.

It's a win for everyone today. Well, except Tony Romo, who basically single-handedly lost that came for Dallas.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

University of Nevada

Oh Kaep. It's our first game without you and we miss you. Why do they put us up against Oregon for our first contest of the 2011 season??? It's so hard to watch.

At first, we were holding the Ducks and everything seemed great. But damn. A couple of big plays gets the Pack frustrated and flustered and all of the sudden, it's 0-37.

Oh and the fact that the announcers don't know how to pronounce our state's name. Its Ne-va-da, not Ne-vah-da. Get it right, guys.

I'm gonna go take a nap. This is too much to handle.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

My favorite football-related Twitter accounts

I'm an overactive Twitter user, that's no secret.  Of the 125 people I follow, I'm sure over half of them are related to football in one way or another.  Some of them are parody accounts, some are football players, and some are just other fans that are Twitterholics like myself.


What I've come to learn is that a majority of athletes that tweet are either compulsive retweeters and clog your news feed or boring.  The worst are tweeters whose use of shorthand or slang makes their tweets undecipherable (I'm talking to you, CJ2K!)  It's very rare to find an athlete that I genuinely enjoy updates from.  


With that being said, I'd like to give you a list of my favorite Twitter accounts, so that you can enjoy them as well.  Please feel free to add to the list or give me suggestions.  I always love finding new people to follow.


@FauxJohnMadden - Hilarious!  Yes, it's a parody account and not the real deal, but this person has some hilarious commentary on all things football.  Sometimes I think his tweets are more accurate than those of @NFL.  One of my favorite tweets? "Today's Wimbledon update is brought to you by.. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD END THE NFL LOCKOUT PLEASE!"
@NotJayCutler - Again, a parody account.  If you read my blog, you know how much I loathe Jay Cutler.  Any opportunity to mock Cutler is hilarious to me, though he doesn't tweet very often.  Sample tweet : "Am I nervous about the season? I haven't quit yet."
@nyjets - As far as Twitter goes for pro sports teams, the Jets are really on top of their game.  They are very interactive with their fans and they give thoughtful updates on press conferences, interviews, sound bites, and game highlights.  They are great with social media, which is another reason I think they are gaining so much popularity in the last few years.
 @nickmangold - Obviously, my favorite tweeter.  He tweets his fans (and haters) without a bunch of retweeting clogging up your timeline.  Nick is one of the few elite athletes that is truly grounded; he never makes himself out to be superior to anyone else.  He gets very quiet during the season, as to be expected, but he's a tweeting machine on his off time.
@Mark_Sanchez - I know, I know.  I'm a little biased when it comes to Sanche.  I just adore him, so obvi I adore his Twitter account too.  He shows his personality in a way you don't normally see pro QBs: he tweets pictures of his friends with the label #creepyguyfaketextingpic and jokes with his teammates, but always makes time to promote non-profits and charities.  He shows his fans what a fun and genuine guy he must be, which makes me love him even more... as if that's possible.  I also love his BFF (and one of the Jets newest wide receivers) @smcknight21.
@NFL - If you are a fan of football, you have to follow @NFL. However, if you are like me, you get the NFL updates via text already, so sometimes the updates are redundant.  Oh well.  I'd rather get an update 12 times than not get it at all.
@extraseats - This guy has tickets to 49ers, Jets and Cowboys games and usually his prices are pretty good.  He's also got tickets for a bunch of baseball and hockey teams, should you want to find cheap games to go to.
@CoachJeffFisher - I just stumbled upon his Twitter account and my heart sang with joy.  Looks like he hasn't really gotten into tweeting yet, but give him time.  This is a great man, people.  Soon, I'm sure, he'll be spitting out words of wisdom left and right.  


Other accounts I follow that I don't necessarily like or dislike, I just follow them because I like them as players: @C-Finnegan31 (Cortland Finnegan, Tennessee Titans), @Kaepernick7 (Colin Kaepernick, San Francisco 49ers), @ACromartie (Antonio Cromartie, New York Jets), @stephentulloch (Stephen Tulloch, Detroit Lions), and @AdamSchefter (Adam Schefter, ESPN NFL correspondent).


There are also people I've tried to follow, but couldn't handle either the amount or content of tweets. @chrisjohnson28's tweets are complete gibberish.  I'm sure someone understands him, but I'm not that person. @LarryFitzgerald's tweets are always about God or some preachy business, so I can't get down with that.  @ochocinco needs a life.  I get that Twitter is fun and exciting, but step away from the Twitter app on your phone, bro!  @kurt13warner is an asshole.  I only read his tweets once and they were making fun of other players.  Uh, you used to be homeless and your wife looks like a man, you have no room to criticize others, dick.


And that's all I've got for now!


xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Dear Aaron Rogers,

You've created a lifelong enemy.  Not just me, but any female with eyeballs who thoroughly enjoyed Mark Sanchez' photo spread in GQ.  I get it; you are upset because no one wants your homely mug on the cover of their magazine, but you don't have to hate on Sanche for being oh-so pretty.  You know what's more embarrassing than a hot QB in tight white pants???  Your terrible hair cut and inexplicable facial hair.  Seriously, what is the situation happening above your shoulders?

You're a good quarterback, you just won a Super Bowl.  Do you really need to go around making fun of Mark Sanchez' clothing?  Tom Brady has done GQ, did you make fun of him as well?  Thankfully, Sanche is a classy man and didn't insult you back, even though you provide him with plenty of ammunition.  

Now, I will have to root against you always, even if you are playing the Patriots or Raiders.

xoxo,

Blanche Sanche

Poor Peyton!

It breaks my little heart to hear that Peyton Manning has undergone another neck surgery and could be out for at least 2 or 3 months.  As far as quarterbacks go, Peyton is elite.  He's smart, he knows how to read the field and make big plays, and he seems like a nice dude.  Even after being with the Colts for 13 years, he is still one of the best playmakers out there.  It seems like a shame that an injury is going to keep him from the majority of the 2011 season, if not finish his career.

As a Titans fan, I'm looking forward to the Colts season for a couple of reasons.  1. I love Kerry Collins and I'm glad to see that he'll be able to fill in for Peyton until he's healed.  I think Kerry still has some fight left in him and it's good the Colts chose to see that too.  2. The other part of me hopes Kerry and the Colts won't gel, opening up a spot in the AFC South for the Titans to swoop in and claim the top seat.  Though I still hold a grudge toward the Titans organization for their off-season personnel choices, I still want them to succeed.

However, I truly hope that Peyton can come back from this injury and play better than ever.  It would be a shame to watch a whole season without him.

xoxo,

Blanche Sanche

Fantasy Football 2011- Draft 2

This is the draft that matters and I feel like I did terribly!  Last year, we started playing "office" fantasy football ("office" is in quotes because it's 3 of us in the office, a past employee, a current employee's roommate, and random friends) and I sucked.  When we decided to do it again, and added a $20 buy in, I decided I had to win.  However, I am not good at drafting, so here's my second lineup (which is very similar to my first)


WILLIE BEAMEN (Yes, I named my team after Jamie Foxx' character in Any Given Sunday)
QB- Josh Freeman (TB)
WR- Kenny Britt (TEN)
WR- Austin Collie (IND)
WR- Andre Johnson
RB- Lesean McCoy (PHI)
RB- Maurice Jones-Drew (JAC)
TE- Jason Witten (DAL)
K- Rob Bironas (TEN)
DEF- New York Jets
BENCH- Mark Sanchez (QB, NYJ)
BENCH- Dustin Keller (TE, NYJ)
BENCH- Reggie Bush (RB, MIA)
BENCH- Michael Bush (RB, OAK)
BENCH- Danny Amendola (WR, STL)
BENCH- Tennessee Titans DEF

Much like last year, I think I'm going to be more successful in my random league than the one I actually care about.  Oh well.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Deadspin

Generally, I try to avoid reading Deadspin.  Not because of the content, I effing love the content, but because of the layout and the difficulty of navigating the site.  It might just be me, but I think it's hard as shit to find articles I like there.

However, I ran out of other websites to waste time on, so I took a gander and, wouldn't you know, the top story was The 2011 Haters Guide to the Top 25.  Hysterical.  I almost felt as if I'd written the article, despite my purely rudimentary knowledge of college football.

I suggest you check it out and laugh at the pure hatred and frustration with which the article is written.  Think back to a time you just wanted to talk shit about everything around you and I guarantee this is exactly how you felt.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Fantasy Football 2011- Draft 1

Last minute, I decided to join a random fantasy football league because, well, one just isn't enough.  (That's what she said.)

Anyway, I was pretty unprepared, so I winged it.  I'm still pretty happy with the results.

Beginning Roster:
QB- Josh Freeman (TB)
WR- Reggie Wayne (IND)
WR- Kenny Britt (TEN)
WR- Mario Manningham (NYG)
RB- Shonn Greene (NYJ)
RB- Ryan Mathews (SD)
TE- Aaron Hernandez (NE)
K- Rob Bironas (TEN)
DEF- New York Jets
Bench- Mark Sanchez (NYJ)
Bench- Marshawn Lynch (SEA)
Bench- Braylon Edwards (SF)
Bench- Brent Celek (PHI)
Bench- Kyle Orton (DEN)
Bench- Pierre Thomas (NO)

I hope Saturday's draft goes a little better, considering that the pool is up to $240 for the winner and I could use that money for a Wii.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

DIRECTV

Damn you, Deion Sanders fairy!  I thought I was powerful enough to resist these commercials, but I'm not.  I am so intrigued by the free NFL ticket that I'm gonna sign up for DIRECTV, even though I'm sure there are hidden fees and costs involved in the switch.  However, I really hate Charter, so I'm always looking for a new cable provider.  I wonder how many people are switching to DIRECTV based solely on the free NFL ticket.  Probably millions.  This season is going to kick ass!

I hope you haven't led me astray, Deion.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

My new favorite Jet

Scotty McKnight, rookie Wide Receiver, New York Jets.  Also, BFF of Mark Sanchez.  What's not to love about Scotty?  He's handsome, funny, and a hard worker.    Plus, he promises that one day we will karaoke NSYNC together.  I'm just waiting for him to make good on his promise...

In case you aren't totally sold, here are a couple more photos that showcase the amazingness that is Scotty.

Yep.  Follow him on Twitter, smcknight21!

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Fantasy Football 2011

Ugh.

My fantasy football draft is this Saturday and I'm so unprepared!  This is how I start every year: I'm going to pick the cutest players and hope they do well for me.  It didn't work last year and I know it won't work this year.  You know what else doesn't work?  Picking only players from one or two teams.  Trust me.  It's hard for me to put my personal feelings aside in order to create a super team, but I have less than a week to do just that.
I also have less than a week to establish a new, witty team name because last year's "Knock Outs" didn't yield the results I'd hoped for.  I found some great names on Twitter, but I feel bad, and unoriginal, for using them.  My favorites include Plaxidental Shooting, Rex Ryan's Foot Soldiers, Corn on the Kolb, Romosexual Tendencies and Rock Out with you Lock Out.  I'm not that clever!!!!
Here's hoping I can be ready to go by 3pm on Saturday!

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Lord Have Mercy!

If this doesn't get you excited for Monday Night Football between the Jets and Texans, I don't know what will.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

More news of the past week

Another addition of what's going on in the NFL flurry of preseason trades and acquisitions.

So sad that we have to say good-bye to JT on the Jets, but I hope he'll feel back at home for his latest tenure with the Dolphins.  Only Jason Taylor can make those hideous colors look good!

I hope Braylon Edwards can keep himself out of trouble enough to prove that he's still relevant for the 49ers.  Maybe he just needs to be back on the west coast to get himself straight again.  I think a Kaepernick/Edwards combo could be amazeballs.

How long do we think Denver is going to put up with the bitching and moaning of Tim Tebow before they yank Kyle Orton out of the starting position?  I really can't understand Denver's thinking.  The city of Denver is obsessed with Tebow and they want him as their starter.  Just let Orton go and showcase how green and unprepared Tebow is.  Please.

I am so excited that Plaxico Burress is a Jet!  I don't know how great of a producer he'll be this year, but I'm hoping for a great story of redemption.  With Sanchez growing up and learning how to play the game and Plax being a veteran who has seen so much, I think it's going to be a really strong pairing.  I'm looking forward to watching them play together!

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Danny Watkins

I picked this handsome fella out during the draft.  Not only is he Canadian, but he's a fire fighter and he's a 26 year old rookie.  Though he was drafted to the Eagles, I knew I'd have to root for him because he's so amazing.
This week, he blew me away again when his teammate, Mike Patterson, had a seizure during practice and Danny was right there to help stabilize him.  Seriously, could this dude be more perfect?  I'm completely smitten.
I hate that I have to cheer for a team that has a convicted dog killer, a suicidal nutcase (Vince Young) and my favorite ex-Titan, Jason Babin, but for that face, I will suck it up.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Every girl needs a couple Kaepernick jerseys

As briefly mentioned in an earlier post, I received 3 Kaepernick jerseys for my birthday, 2 red ones and a white one.  Apparently my friends and family really love me because those things aren't cheap.

After I had opened all of them, one of my friends noticed that the white one was actually a NY Giants jersey with Kap's name and number on it.  Funny thing, that's the one that came from the 49ers own website.

My dad (who got me the jersey) called to ask them to send a replacement and they said they would, on the condition that we send the Giants jersey back.  Hell no!  I'm keeping it forever because it's hilarious!

Deciding that 3 was just too many, I returned one of the red jerseys to Scheels and got some sweet Under Armour.  But I'm totally psyched to wear my new jerseys, even though supporting the 49ers is going to be the death of me!

And here is the infamous picture of me, Kap, and Morgan the night we stalked him at a nightclub to take a picture with him.  Creepy, yes.  Worth it, yes.  I just wish I didn't look so terrible in the photo.  Even though I was intoxicated, I was still embarrassed that we were such weirdos!

See you in San Francisco!
xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

The Good and The Bad

THE GOOD:

Colin Kaepernick is finally signed with the 49ers for a 4 year deal, which is great because I wouldn't want my 3 Kap jerseys to go to waste!  Yes, I received 3 for my birthday. Win.

Santonio Holmes has been re-signed by the Jets for a massive deal.  Let's just hope he behaves himself and doesn't have to be a bench warmer for 5 games for drug use....

Oh, Albie.  I kind of loved him and his craziness when he was a Titan, then he went off the deep end with the 'Skins and acted like a bigger diva than Mariah Carey.  Now, he's moving on to the Patriots and I'm giddy.  I can't wait to see the stress he's gonna cause Bill Belichick!  I hope he's awful because that would just fill my heart with happiness!

THE BAD

Jason Babin is now playing for the Eagles and I'm heartbroken.  He is one of my favorite Titans and I'm so sad to see him go!  I think the Eagles are going to have a spectacular team this year, as much as it pains me to say so, and they will have a good shot at making it to the Super Bowl.

Ugh.  Why do the Titans consistently make personnel choices I do not agree with?  I guess Matt Hasslebeck is our new QB.  I'm going to try to learn to love him, but it's gonna be hard since my heart was set on Kyle Orton.  I have a feeling that they are only bringing Hasslebeck in as a buffer until Jake Locker is ready; he's not a long term guy.  Let's hope he can breathe life into my ailing Titans.

Engagement OFF!

It comes as no surprise to me that Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari broke up.  What does shock me is that HE dumped HER!  Is there anything more sad and pathetic in life than to be left by Jay Cutler??? Absolutely not.
I'm sure Cutler will find a way to manifest this break up into a physical injury so that he doesn't have to actually play football this season.  As for Kristin, maybe this will inspire her to design more shitty clothes that no one wants to buy.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Hooray for Football!

The increasingly frequent buzz of my iPhone, letting me know I have a new text alert from NFL.com, is music to my ears.
For any fan of the NFL, yesterday was a very exciting day!  The NFLPA finally signed off on the new CBA with the owners and got everyone back to work.  But more exciting than yesterday is today.
It's wonderful to finally read about players showing up to the facilities to practice and get back on their game.  It's also wonderful to start talking free agency.  Who is going to go where and who is going to get a huge deal to stay just where they are?  
I'm personally very anxious to see who the new starting QB for the Tennessee Titans will be, especially now that the Broncos are out shopping Kyle Orton.  It's no secret that I would love to have K. Ort be the leader, and new face, of the Titans, since they have pretty much gotten rid of everyone on the team that I love.  Plus, he's a great QB who hasn't really found his niche anywhere.  Nashville would make a great home for him.
I also want to see what deals will be inked for Santonio Holmes, Braylon Edwards, and Antonio Cromartie because as much as I hope they will stay Jets, it's not likely to happen.  Oh, and while we are at it Jets, re-sign Jason Taylor.  Do it.  Right. Now.
This week will be full of great drama and hard work.  I'm more excited than I have been in a long time!

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Withdrawal....

It's definitely that time of year when I start to really feel the absence of football in my life.  I start to crave it, to need it, to feel empty without it.  For awhile after the season ends, I get a sense of relief because I don't have to devote so many hours to the game.  It's kind of nice to get away from it and to not obsessively check NFL.com every five minutes for the latest stories or injury reports.

But then July comes and I notice that NFL.com isn't in my top 10 visited websites and that troubles me.  It's about time I start looking into players for my Fantasy team(s) and wanting to know when, for Christ's sake, is this lockout going to end.

What I'm saying friends is that I'm getting back into the game right here and now.  I'm going to start blogging more and hoping that, if I'm more active, it will make the next month fly by.

Now, I gotta go read up on my news, so I'll have something to write about!

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

NFL 2011 Draft

There's been a lot I should have written about over the past few months, but I didn't.  I was lazy and never felt compelled to say anything, so let's forget that any of it happened and move on.

Tomorrow is a big day!  The start of the 2011 NFL Draft.  With all the commotion happening between the players and the owners, the draft hype has been rather lackluster.  It's hard to get excited about drafting new players into a league that may or may not have a 2011 season.

I, however, am on pins and needles.  Not only am I praying (seriously, and I'm not even religious) for the Titans to pick up Colin Kaepernick in the second round, but the draft is something else entirely for me.  It also serves as my 2011 Boyfriend Draft!

Last year, my number 1 boyfriend was Sam Bradford... and not just because he was drafted first.  His sweet face and goofy smile placed him at the top of my list.  I will have to look and see who the rest of my picks were, but I'm pretty sure that Bradford was the most successful candidate of the year.

This year, I'm obviously going to take Colin Kaepernick early, but the rest of the line up is TBD.  I guess I'll fill you in as the draft progresses tomorrow.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

PS- Jay Cutler is engaged.  That makes me barf in my mouth.  He is the most vile human being I can think of, next to the disturbed individual that thought up Human Centipede.  Fuck that guy.

Slacker

I know it's not football season, but with everything going on, I feel like I've let this blog fall by the wayside.  Sorry about that, friends.  Here I am, though, to briefly discuss the important things that have happened lately.
Jason Taylor was cut from the Jets.  WTF?  They better renegotiate his contract and bring him back or this girl is going on a rampage.
Tiki Barber is un-retiring, which HAS to be because he's broke.  There is no reason a 38 year old man who retired in 2006 should be making his comeback as a running back.  Who is going to take him?  Probably no one.  You've always been my favorite Barber bro, Tiki, but Ronde is taking over now.
Vince Young wants back on the Titans. NO.  Munchak better not do it.  Also, Warren Moon thinks the Titans should pick Cam Newton as their first round draft pick.  NO.  Hello, world!  Our first round pick of VY didn't work; it's not time to start over with another brand new QB.  Let's pick up an established guy before we start picking up fresh meat.
Plaxico Buress will be released from prison in early June.  I think this guy is going to have a stellar comeback... as long as he remembers to properly holster his guns at all times. 
This whole CBA nonsense feels like it's never going to end.  I don't think anyone is willing to give up anything to come to an agreement, so let's just be the overpaid assholes you are and screw over your fans, your employees and the livelihoods of your neighborhood economies so that you can get a few more million dollars.

And I'm out.

xoxo
Blanche Sanche

Pure artistry

My dear friend, Blanche Collie, went on a Paint drawing spree and made pictures for the three of us.  Though she does not include Austin Collie in her picture, I know he's in her heart.  Enjoy these winning pictures!

Me:

Blanche Manning:

Blanche Collie:

You know you wish your friends would waste their time at work making you glorious drawings of you and anonymous sports husbands.


xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

A little something to brighten my day

I know there are far more important things happening in the football world at this moment (t minus 25 hours until the lockout), but Chord Overstreet (the Bieber-haired blond boy on Glee) just posted this photo and my heart did a happy dance.  Mark Sanchez + Mark Salling + Wii = Personal Heaven.  I would sell a body part to be a part of this photo.  However, in light of Mr. Sanchez' current scandal, I don't think it's appropriate for him to be hanging out on the set of Glee.  Too much temptation for him, don't you think???

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche