Seriously...

You know you want to punch him, too.  Admitting it is the first step.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Pro Bowl = FAIL

What a waste of my life.  And, yes, I do say that every year after I vow to never watch the Pro Bowl again.

Here are my top 5 gripes:

1.  If I wanted to watch sissy-la-la football, I'd go back and play intramural flag football with my sorority sisters.
2.  It's ridic that the loser gets paid $20,000 to just show up.  You get a free trip to Hawaii and still get a bonus after that?  That's the sweetest of sweet deals.
3.  A majority of those players are there because the original picks are in the Super Bowl or are injured.  Matt Cassel, really?  I'm sorry Jay Cutler and Alex Smith couldn't make it this year.
4.  Bill Belichick.
5.  Was anyone invited that wasn't on the Falcons?  Seriously.  I swear to God the entire offense at one point were ALL Falcon players.

There's so much more to say, but I don't want to waste another minute of my time reliving that seemingly endless game.  Maybe I'll wise up next year and not watch it.  Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

See ya next year!
Blanche Sanche

Speechless

Are you effing kidding me, Titans?  Here I am, sitting at my desk, playing skeeball on my phone, when I get a text from NFL.com alerting me that Jeff Fisher will not be returning as the head coach next year.

Tears are in my eyeballs as I type.

I thought we had worked this out.  Vince Young is out and we keep Jeff Fisher.  You were supposed to keep him, Bud.  Did you forget that?

I literally feel my loyalty to the Titans slipping through my fingers.  I'm terribly sad and I have nothing left to say today.  I'm going to go home, curl up in a ball, and listen to "Broken Hearted"* by Brandy and Wanya Morris while I cry, clutching a picture of Jeff Fisher to my heart.

Done,
Blanche Sanche

*Broken Hearted


Only, broken hearted, life's not over, I can start again,
but I'm lonely, broken hearted, it's a hurting thing to get
over.

I'm young but I'm wise enough to know, that you don't fall in love
overnight.
That's why I thought if I took my time, that everything in love
would be right.
But as soon as I closed my eyes, I was saying to love - goodbye.

But I guess I'm

Only, broken hearted, life's not over, I can start again,
but I'm lonely, broken hearted, it's a hurting thing to get
over.

No more empty conversation, next time I will be totally sure,
Don't want the pain of falling in and out of love, it's more than
my poor heart should endure.
So I listen to all advice, and remember each time I cry

but I guess I'm

Only, broken hearted, life's not over, I can start again, but
I'm lonely, broken hearted, it's a hurting thing to get over
(repeat)

So I listen to all advice, and remember each time I cry....

Only, broken hearted, life's not over, I can start again,
but I'm lonely, broken hearted, it's a hurting thing to get
over.

Never gonna be alone again, that's why I asked you to be my
best friend, boy you know you're always on my mind, I think
about you all the time, I'm only

Only, broken hearted, life's not over, I can start again,
but I'm lonely, broken hearted, it's a hurting thing to get
over.

Just for giggles

This is one of the greatest things I've ever seen.  I want to make it into a poster and hang it on my wall.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

T. Ocho looking to move to... the Jets?!?!

I'm sorry, but no thanks, T. Ocho.

No part of me wants you (separately or as a package deal) on my team for several reasons.  Shall I count the ways?
1.  T. O. was in Any Given Sunday.  What do I mean by that?  HE'S OLD! 
2.  No matter how many times you change your name, Chad Johnson... Ochocinco... Johnson, you will still be a fool.  Not even Rex Ryan can tame you.  I'll admit, I watched you on Dancing With The Stars.  Hell, I even voted for you, but I would never give my seal of approval for you to join my team.  Keep your grill and sombrero far away from New Jersey.
3.  You are nothing special.  Blame it on your coaches, blame it on your quarterback, but when it boils down to it, your delusions of grandeur are just that.  Delusions.  In comparison to other wide receivers in the league, you're alright, but nothing super special.
4.  I know we can't guarantee that they will stay, but there's no way I'd give up Braylon Edwards or Santonio Holmes for you ass clowns.
5.  The Jets have enough problems with getting the respect that they deserve.  They'd get none with you on the roster.
6.  Seriously.  How old is T.O.?  I'd take LL Cool J or Bill Bellamy on my team before him.  Shoot, I'd take Cuba Gooding, Jr.

I feel as if those are good enough reasons to pass on their generous offer to join the Jets.  I just hope the rest of the franchise listens to me.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Jay Cutler

I don't know what it is about Jay Cutler that makes me hate him, but I can't help it.  Every time they show his face on TV, I want to throw a shoe at him.

During the NFC Championship game today, Cutler was playing like an amateur.  It was painful to watch him do absolutely NOTHING for his team.

And then came his "knee injury".

Yo, Cutler.  A word of advice:  You are in the effing NFC Championship game.  Suck it the eff up and play some football.  I've seen quarterbacks play through injuries worse than anything that could have happened to you today.  I think you could have lasted a few more series, had you wanted it bad enough.

I'm sure I wasn't the only one that thought his injury was a cop-out.  If he sat on the sidelines, he couldn't be held liable for the ass kicking that was happening on the field, right?  WRONG!  His noticeable absence brought even more attention to how he was letting his team down.

I do have to say, though, I was very proud of the way Caleb Hanie handled himself on the field.  For a third string quarterback, who had only played in a few games before, I think he held his own out there.  He proved that the Bears could count on him as a solid backup.  Or a potential starter next year... just throwin' it out there.

Sorry Bears.  As my step-mom and I said at the end of the game: After that terrible performance, Jay Cutler should never be seen or heard from again.  He is awful.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

A hard loss

Perhaps I was too confident going into this game.  Perhaps my father and I shouldn't have taken a pregame picture of us in our Jets jerseys (me in Nick Mangold's 74 and pops in Joe Namath's 12) standing on top of a Steelers jersey in fighting stances.  Perhaps we jinxed the team with our antics.

That's exactly what was running through my head the entire first half of the AFC playoff game tonight.  Seriously.  I even made my dad change his shirt because my superstitions were telling me that it was bad juju for him to wear green during a game.

The first half was wretched.  The Jets couldn't make anything work for them: no possession, no yardage, nothing.  It was heartbreaking to see a team with so much heart and so much swagger losing 3-24 at the half.  But I know my Jets and they don't go down without a fight.

The second half was awesome.  I don't know what Rex said in that locker room, but something lit a fire under those guys and they made a valiant effort.  A couple of sacks on Rapin' Roethlisberger, some interceptions, much more time for Marky Mark and his funky bunch to march down the field and score.

Okay, so the Jets lost.  But to bring it to a 19-24 game and not let the Steelers score at all in the second half was magic.  If only we could have had a few more minutes on the clock (or maybe had they not had some terrible clock management on that 4th and goal situation that eventually led to a safety), I believe they could have done it.  I KNOW they could have.

But there's no need to live in "what ifs" and "coulda beens".  I'm just thankful that the injuries sustained by Sanchez and Mangold weren't serious.  I'm also grateful to have become a fan of a team that loves their fans so dearly.  It's just Twitter, but I've received tweets from the official Jets Twitter account, Matt Higgins, Santonio Holmes and, of course, Nick Mangold, whereas I've never heard a peep from the Titans.  The Jets are so accessible and wonderful.  I will continue to be a loyal fan because I feel a personal connection to the whole team.

The Jets have grown leaps and bounds since they were in this position last year.  They have a solid team, a coach you can't help but love and respect, a QB who gets better every game and a fan base you can't hold down. 

We'll see you again next year!

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Colin Kaepernick

 My dearest Nevada Wolf Pack has finally produced a star in the way of our graduating quarterback, Colin Kaepernick and I am so proud!

C. Kaep (as I like to call him because nicknames are always more fun than given names) is a jack-of-all-trades.  He played football and baseball during his tenure at Nevada.  Actually, he was drafted to the MLB, but chose to stick with football for the 2010 season.  And we have been grateful ever since.

Not only has he been a figurehead for an ailing Nevada football team; he's done some remarkable work on the football field that ANY school would be lucky to get out of their QB.  He's had a career 59 rushing touchdowns, 20 of them occurring in the last season.  59!  He tied with Tim Tebow for being the second person to rush 20 and throw 20 TDs in the same season.

And, yet, he was virtually unrecognized for his record-breaking career.  No Heisman, no Unitas award, nothing.  It's a shame that he gets absolutely no credit for what a remarkable player he is.

Now, I have been strongly campaigning* for the Titans to take a chance on the young QB, as we are in dire need of a team leader that doesn't, well, suck.  I know it's a long shot, but it would serve 2 purposes: 1. The Titans would get a non-sucky quarterback and 2. People wouldn't look at me like I'm an alien when I say the Titans are my favorite team because EVERYONE would be a bandwagon Titans fan!  Plus, I'd finally be able to go into a store and buy Titans swag, instead of having to find it online.

Anyhow, during one of my 13 trips to NFL.com today, I found this little gem, proclaiming C. Kaep to be one of the top 5 quarterbacks to draft this year and I just had to share. 

Top 5 Underclassmen Per Position

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

*By "strongly campaigning", I obviously mean that I've tweeted the Titans about it and mentioned it on Facebook a couple of times.  That's a kind of dedication not often seen by me....

I couldn't have said it better myself

I know it's already time for the AFC Championship game tomorrow, but I just saw this video and it filled me with indescribable happiness.  This solidifies Jon Stewart on my list of Brother Husbands.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

All hail Queen Brady

I just barfed on myself for that title, even though I mean it purely sarcastically.

Why is it that, after the loss to the Jets, the Patriots organization finally tells us that Mrs. Brady has been playing with a foot injury, I mean "ailment", for the entire season and that he's going to have surgery to fix it?  Shouldn't we have been privy to this information before their season came to a screeching halt?

Let me ask you this: Why do they feel the need to justify their loss to the Jets by telling me that Brady wasn't at his best?  You lost.  Get over it.  You lost because your whole team played terribly, not because Brady had a foot injury.  When I am out dude-hunting on a Friday night and my game is off, I don't manifest an injury then tell everyone I'm boyfriendless because of an ingrown toenail; I chalk it up to my inability to have a normal conversation with someone of the opposite sex.  The same logic applies.

Also, are they trying to make him a hero for fighting through the pain all season?  If it was that bad, he should have taken care of it a long time ago.  I'm not impressed.  At all.  As a matter of fact, it feels like something Spencer Pratt would do for attention.  You know what's a better way to make people think your awesome?  One word: Giselle.

Thank God we are done with him for the season.  I can't stand to look at his face anymore and I'm pretty sure Justin Bieber would really like to regain the complete control of the dudes with lesbian haircuts market.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Where to watch the Super Bowl

It happens every year.  I get all psyched up for the big game then, when the day comes, I have nowhere fun to watch it.  Usually, I end up at my Dad's with a plethora of snack foods, but with only the company of my father and step-mom.  As avid of a football fan as I am, I can't remember the last time I even had a beer during the Super Bowl.

This year I'm shaking things up.

It looks like I might have the opportunity to go back to San Francisco (the city is only 5 hours away, so I try to get there as much as possible) to watch the game!  My female football fan friends (Blanche Manning and Blanche Collie) are going to the Bay for an opportunity to meet the San Francisco Giants at AT&T Park because Blanche Collie has a soft spot for Brian Wilson.  They have invited me to join them on their sojourn to San Francisco.

San Francisco.  Blanches.  Gays.  Football.  YES PLEASE!

Let's hope I can get Monday off work, but I'm too scared to ask the boss today 'cause he's overly aggro.

Keep your fingers crossed for me,
Blanche Sanche

Next season

The opponents were announced right after the last game of the regular season, but it's just now that I'm getting around to figuring out which games I'll be going to next season.

It's been my dream for years to watch a Titans game at LP Field and, thanks to a free Southwest flight and a new friend who is a Titans fan, I think my dream will come true this year.  But which team do I want to see my Titans play?  A team they will beat, obviously.  I'd really like to see them play the Buccaneers because of my newfound respect for Josh Freeman, but a Colts game would also be epic.  I guess it will all boil down to when each game is played.  I can't use too many vacation days on this trip because there are so many more games I'd like to see.

Unfortunately, a home game is all I'm going to get out of the Titans this year because they are staying far away from the west coast next season.  However, I'm getting extraordinarily spoiled by the Jets, as there are 2 games for me to attend that are close to me.

They are playing in Denver again, which is awesome because my best friend lives just outside of Denver and I can kill two birds with one stone that way.  See my bestie, my niece and my boys all in one trip?  Perfection!

The Jets are also playing in Oakland and, though I have often said I will not go to a Raiders game because their fans terrify me, I'm going to bite the bullet and go.  My friend is a Raiders fan, so if I show up with her and keep my Jets attire concealed until I'm in my seat, maybe I can escape unscathed.  Or maybe I can persuade Nick to give me family section tickets so I don't have to fear for my life.

The greatest news of next season is that I have a friend who just moved to NYC to get his Masters degree at NYU and he wants me to come visit so we can go to a game.  A home game for the Titans and the Jets?!?!  It would be the best year of my life!  Too bad I only have 2 weeks of vacation to spread throughout the year, otherwise I doubt I would work at all in the fall.

I doubt anyone really cares about my football plans, but I thought I'd lay them out there in case anyone wants to join me on my cross country adventures!

xoxo
Blanche Sanche

Playoffs

I love the playoffs.  And I hate them too.  I love them because they are the most intense games of the season, but I hate them because it means I'm going to have to find new ways to occupy my time for the next six months (say a big HELLO to school and a new running program).  This weekends playoffs were about as good as it gets, with the exception of the NFC games.  Seriously.  Could they have at least tried to play interesting football???

Let's start with the Steelers/Ravens game.  On principle, I had to root against the Ravens.  I can't find it in my heart to love the team where Steve McNair ended his career because I still feel like he will always be an Oiler/Titan.  Also, one of my dearest friends is a Steelers fan and she'd kill me if I rooted against them.  Oh, and Mike Tomlin is hot.  So there's that.

The game had me on the edge of my seat.  At first, it looked like the Ravens were going to take it.  They were definitely out to win, or so it seemed.  Then halftime came.  After the half, the Steelers came out with a renewed vengeance and took the game back.  We had an AFC team in the divisional playoffs, who were they going to play?

There was never any doubt in my mind that it would be the Jets.  Rexy and the rest of the team were talking a big game.  Cromartie called Brady an asshole, which is true so I'm still unsure why it caused so much commotion, then Bart Scott pretty much put out a hit on Wes Welker.  But when you get into a rivalry match with so much on the line, there are going to be some vicious words thrown around.  It's all part of the show and the Jets are quite the showmen.

The thing that got me the most was that NO ONE was giving the Jets credit.  The commentators made it seem as if the Jets had accidentally gotten into the playoff situation and the almighty Patriots were going to put them in their place.  Everyone had their money on a huge Patriots upset, and couldn't stop talking about the huge upset back in December.  However, no one was bringing up the fact that the Jets won the first contest between the rivals this season.  They stressed what a great team the Patriots were and pretty much already had them in the Super Bowl.

And how wrong they were.

We saw a Jets team that was strong and played hard on both sides of the ball.  Sanchez threw 3 touchdown passes.  David Harris intercepted the golden boy Brady for the first time in 339 passes.  Brady got sacked 5, yes 5, times while Sanchez didn't get sacked at all.  It was poetic.  I have never been more proud to be a fan of a team in my life.  And if you follow me on Twitter or are friends with me on Facebook, I apologize for the frequent, elated updates that happened today!

Now, it's on to the Steelers.  A team I KNOW we can beat.  It's Super Bowl or bust for the Jets and I'm thinking that ring is going to look perfect on Mark Sanchez' finger.

Play like a Jet,
Blanche Sanche

Epic weekend!

I apologize in advance, as this blog might be incoherent because I'm having a hard time finding the words to summarize it properly.

Let's begin with San Francisco: it.was.EPIC.  From the minute we stepped into the city in our Nevada attire (as we made a rule that only blue and silver clothing would be tolerated for the weekend, with the exception of my Jets jersey during the play off game), we were greeted with cheers and car horns honking in solidarity.  Everyone one the streets yelled "Go Pack!" to one another all weekend.  It was awesome.  Granted, there were about 25,000 Pack fans that converged on the city, but it still felt amazing to be a part of it.

For the Jets/Colts game on Saturday, we made our way to Lefty O'Doule's in Union Square.  The place was overrun by Nevada fans.  You can't tell from the picture, but aside from me and a dude in a Colts jersey, everyone was wearing Nevada clothes.  Also, aside from me and that dude, no one gave a shit about the play off game.

Perhaps I got a little too excited about my weekend of football, but I plunged head first into a couple of beers and was feeling great.  Then I had a couple more.  And a few shots.  By the end of the game, I was screaming and jumping up and down like the Jets had won the Super Bowl!  Don't forget, no one else cared about the game, so my behavior would have been inappropriate anywhere else, but surrounded by Nevadans, they were too busy screaming "When I say Wolf, you say Pack" to notice me.  Let's also make a note that I was wearing my Mangold jersey and they won.  I might be on to something with this jersey situation.

I know this will shock you, but Sunday was a little rough for me.  I had to start drinking Bloody Marys at 11am to stave off the full force hangover I could feel creeping up inside of me.  By game time, we were all a few Bloodys/beers/Four Lokos deep and ready to party.

The crowd was drunk and awesome.  If you ever get a chance to immerse yourself in a Nevada crowd, do it.  We are the most fun people you'll ever meet!  There was a streaker; there was a guy wearing an actual wolf that he'd skinned; and the field rush was intense.  I, personally, jumped off a 10 foot wall to assure that I was on the field after we won!

That's as close as I could get to the trophy ceremony.  I was too busy taking photos of me and my friends laying on the grass and trying to touch football players, which was a lot less weird than it sounds!

I don't know that anything can top that weekend of awesomeness, but I'm sure going to try.  A Jets win over the Patriots would be a happy follow-up!

GO PACK!
Blanche Sanche

And the happiness keeps comin' in!

It's official:  Vince Young is out and Jeff Fisher is in!!!!!!!!

For weeks, speculation over the Titans feuding quarterback and coach has consumed my life.  Would Bud Adams' hard-on for VY finally win out over the 16 years of loyalty by Fisher or would he see that his beloved quarterback was nothing but an overgrown baby?

On  Wednesday, after a looooong day of meetings (and me successfully avoiding work by furiously checking every sports website I could think of), it was announced that the Titans would be looking for a new quarterback.  I literally jumped out of my seat!  For 3 years, I've been patiently waiting for the club to tell me we were getting rid of VY.  From his "disappearance" that led everyone to worry he was going to commit suicide to his bar fights, Vince Young's off-field antics are better known than his on-field game play.  He whines that he's not given enough trust, but hasn't done anything to earn it.  I'm just glad Bud Adams finally came to his senses and realized that he's never going to win a Super Bowl with a quarterback who doesn't inspire complete confidence in his teammates, coaches, staff and fans.

But, even after the press release Wednesday, Fisher's job was still up in the air.  Well, not really.  I mean, it was blatantly obvious that with Vince gone, Coach Fisher was still going to have a job with the Tennessee Titans.  Especially after the Cowboys, and the 49ers, had replaced their head coaches.  Today, we finally got the sweet confirmation we were waiting for and I get to keep my "happy place" for at least another year!

Now the question becomes: who is our next quarterback?  Doubtful that we will get anyone good out of the draft (except maybe Colin Kaepernick, who is my personal favorite), we are now looking to veterans that have been ousted by their teams.  I have chosen who I trust enough to be our new QB and it is...

That's right friends.  I'm choosing Kyle Orton.  He's not much to look at, which is a downer for a girl like me, but he had a record breaking season with the Broncos and I think he'd be a great fit in Tennessee.  I think he's perfectly seasoned (unlike Donovan McNabb, who is a little too old to be our franchise QB) and has a lot of effort left to give.  I can only imagine how great it would be for a Orton/Britt and Orton/Moss mash-up for our offense.  Throw Chris Johnson in that mix and I feel an unstoppable combination!  Broncos, you keep Tim "Jesus Is My Homeboy" Tebow and I'll take K-Ort off your hands.  Thanks.

Happy Friday is an understatement!
Blanche Sanche

Football and friends in San Francisco

This will be a weekend of football and fun for me as I follow the Nevada Wolf Pack to San Francisco's AT&T Park for the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl!  The Pack is taking on Boston College and I have no doubt in my mind that Boston isn't prepared for what we are going to bring them.

Football wise, Colin Kaepernick is amazing.  He's a running quarterback who scored 20 rushing touchdowns in the 2010 season, in addition to the 20 passing TDs he also scored.  The only other QBs with records like that have Heisman's.  Boston's defense is no match for Kaep, especially when he has Via Tuau at his side.

Fan wise, Nevada fans are bananas.  We get inappropriately drunk and boastful.  We are fiercely excited about our boys making such a splash on the scene this year, so we get a little... oh... out of control.  We have no problem with mocking the opposing fans or the opposing team (just ask Boise State, who never wants to come back to Reno because of the treatment they received after the overtime win in November.  I took it upon myself to stroke the hair of the 20 year-old in front of me while simultaneously called him a baby in a creepy weirdo voice.  Then I offered him beer, which I still contend was a fair trade, but ultimately still very creepy on my part).  We have no problem with fighting.  We are Reno; the drinking capital of the United States.  Beware, Boston College.  You haven't met anyone like us before.

While I'm enjoying my blue and silver weekend of shenanigans, I will take a break to don my Nick Mangold jersey while the Jets are taking on the Colts for the Wild Card playoff game.*  Sure, everyone knows how lethal Peyton Manning can be in a game, but I really think the Jets are underrated in this situation.  Though Mark Sanchez was "injured" a few weeks ago, I think the Jets have been hyping up his injury so no one will expect how well he is going to play on Saturday.  When he's on his game, Sanche is fire.  And I believe he will be fire against the Colts.

You also have a Jets defense that can hold it's own against the Colts.  Revis on Reggie Wayne?  Revis will dominate that match up.  Cromartie against Garcon?  It's gonna get real ugly real quick.  It'll be the kind of football that's fun and exciting to watch, no matter which side of the ball you're on.

I feel good about this weekend.  I will be consuming copious amounts of my contraband Four Loko we amassed before it was taken off shelves, which means I'm going to get Quatro Crazy on some Boston College fans and, probably, the city of San Francisco at large.  Should I never return from this debaucherous weekend, I preemptively assure you that I went out with a bang.  25,000 Nevada fans converging on San Francisco, there are bound to be causalities and my liver is going to be one of them.

And I'm out,
Blanche Sanche

*Let it be known that every game I've worn my Mangold jersey during, the Jets have won.  I expect my baseless superstition to hold true during this game, as well.