This is Dumb

I'll just be sitting over here with a broken heart while everyone else goes about their daily business.

Sanche, isn't she like 20 years older than you? Why do you only date teenagers or old broads? Please don't let her be your dream killer. I'd like you to have a good season this year.

xoxo (not really),
Blanche Sanche

If I Could Get to St. Louis...

I needn't remind anyone of my love for Coach Fisher, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that, if I could fly to St. Louis for the season opener, I would.  I've never needed anything more than a Jeff Fisher stachio in my collection of football memorabilia.  I'd look so bitchin' in it.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Back to the Grind

Here it is. The start of the 2012 NFL regular season.  Doesn't it feel like it's been a million years since the last season?  Maybe it's just me.

Anyway, with the new season comes roster changes, coaching and staff changes, hypothesizing about team performance, and, most importantly, fantasy football!

This is my third year playing fantasy football and the first two did not go so well.  That means that I'm out for blood this time around.  I'd like to blame specific players for my inadequacies, but it's all my fault.  The first year, I drafted a team completely based on good looking players.  As you would imagine, that strategy was not my idea.  And last year, I took players that I knew and picked a lot from the Titans and the Jets 'cause I like them the most.

This year was different.  I decided to follow my head, not my heart.  I vowed to make shrewd choices, despite how I internally felt about the players.  And where did that lead me?  It lead me to choosing Tom Brady as my 1st overall pick.

Tom effing Brady.

I hate that dude.  And I still feel gross inside that I made him my first choice.  But I'm here to win games, friends, and TB is going to do it for me. Barf.

Here's the rest of my roster, as it sits right now.

QB- Tom Brady (Pats)
RB- Shonne Green (Jets)
RB- Trent Richardson (Browns)
WR- Andre Johnson (Texans)
WR- Marques Colston (Saints)
TE- Vernon Davis (49ers)
Flex- Beanie Wells (Cards)
Kicker- Stephen Gostkowski (Pats)
Defense- Jets
Bench- Mark Sanchez (Jets)
Bench- James Stark (Packers)
Bench- Pierre Thomas (Saints)
Bench- Austin Collie (Colts)
Bench- Rob Bironas (Titans)

As you can see, my heart still had a say once it got to my bench.  There will never be a time I don't choose Mark Sanchez to be on my roster because I still believe he's going to be a great quarterback.  Also, Austin Collie's pretty face generally makes my roster, despite him being a magnet for concussions.

I feel pretty great about my team and I think that I'm gonna dominate my league.  Watch out, bitches. Blanche Sanche is all over your asses.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

The best part of the Super Bowl

And it technically wasn't a part of the Super Bowl..

I'm a HUGE Jimmy Fallon fan and all last week, his show was broadcast from Indianapolis for the Super Bowl.  On Sunday night, right after the game, he did a live broadcast and the opening was EPIC.  He turned Adele's "Rolling In The Deep" into another one of his brilliant parodies and it featured cameos by The Roots, Butler's mascot, the Mayor of Indianapolis, Colts cheerleaders and Butler students.  It.was.so.good.

Clink the link and enjoy.  It's totally worth it!

Jimmy Fallon's Super Bowl Show Opening

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Rob Gronkowski

So, yeah.  He had an amazing season, breaking records for tight ends and whatnot.  But tell me you don't look at this guy and see the stereotypical jock in Varsity Blues!  Like, all he wants to do is hump the head cheerleader and drink beer until he passes out in his own vomit.  He probably enjoys mooning on coming traffic and resting his balls on the chin of whoever passes out first.  You know he gave nerds wedgies and taped them naked to the goal post in high school.

He's the guy that plays the game full force, parties full force, but couldn't read To Kill A Mockingbird on his own.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

How could I forget?

The best part of my postseason: Jeff Fisher was hired as head coach of the Rams!  I'm not really that excited that he's going to be coaching the Rams, but I'm really excited 1. That he's coaching again and 2. He didn't go to the Dolphins.  I just adore Coach Fisher and I'm so glad he'll be with a team that realizes how lucky they are to have him.  I also dig that he'll be working with Sam Bradford because I think he'll do great things next season.

Can't wait to see you back on the field, Coach!

xoxo,

Blanche Sanche

Hottest men in the NFL

As much as I love football, I also love celebrity gossip.  I should fill my brain with more useful knowledge than who Zac Effron is currently dating, but I can't help reading Perez Hilton first thing every morning.


As I was perusing Perez today, I saw he'd made a list of the "Hottest Men in the NFL".  Since there are rarely any references to football (and it was about hot dudes), I quickly clicked to see the full list and here it is:


Eli Manning
Joey Harrington
Osi Umenyiora
Tiki Barber
Peyton Manning
Kyle Boller
Donovan McNabb
Jay Cutler
Aaron Rodgers
Kellen Winslow
Matt Leinhart
Tony Gonzales
Chad Ochocinco


Now, I'm sincerely hoping that these are in no particular order because there is NO WAY Sanche and Jason Taylor should be at the bottom of the list, while Eli Manning takes the number one spot.


I have several issues with this list.  First and foremost, Jay Cutler is absolutely unattractive and should never be included on a list of hot people.  He's the worst.  I can even understand how some people could find Tom Brady (barfffffff) attractive, but not Jay Cutler.


Clearly, Perez knows nothing about football.  Hello!  Tiki doesn't even play football anymore.  Why wouldn't you put Ronde on the list if you are so inclined to include a Barber?  And Adam Vinatieri?!?!  Who includes a kicker?


Now I understand no list will be fully comprehensive, but there are some very glaring omissions.  Austin Collie!    He is one beautiful man, one of the most beautiful to ever play the game.  Other notable mentions: Josh Freeman, Bernard Berrian, Arian Foster, Scotty McKnight, Tyler Sash, Danny Watkins, Cortland Finnegan, Jason Babin, Clay Matthews, Rob Gronkowski (I don't think he's hot, but others might), and Dustin Keller.  Tebow didn't even make the list and he's the son of God!


I'm gonna have to sit down and make my own list of NFL hotties.  Keep a look out.


xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

My favorite halftime shows

I'll be honest with you, I've only been watching the Super Bowl since 2000.  Before that, I couldn't have cared less about football really. Since that time, however, I've been pretty consistently underwhelmed by the "talent" they've gotten for the halftime show.  I don't know what I expect for my halftime entertainment, but I guess I'm looking for more content that flashy costumes and sets.  I want talent.  I want something to make me say, "Wow.  That was awesome."

I have only really enjoyed two out of the thirteen shows I've seen.

First, was the 2001 show.  I mainly enjoyed it because I love anything and everything NSYNC ever did.  I'm an unabashed NSYNC fan for life.  But I thought putting NSYNC, Aerosmith, Britney Spears, Nelly and Mary J. Blige on one stage was amazing.  I loved that they all did the Walk This Way dance together at the end.  It was awesome.  As far as pop music goes, it was top notch.

But my favorite Super Bowl halftime show ever goes to the one, and only, Prince during the 2007 game.  Prince came out and rocked it.  He didn't lipsync; he didn't go crazy with sets and projection screens and costumes; he just went out there with his guitar and sang.  He is a true bad ass.  And he didn't just sing the typical Prince songs.  He performed the Foo Fighters "Best of You" better than the Foo Fighters ever could.  I mean, seriously, his guitar solo... perfection!

The very best moment, when he throws off his bandana, and launches into Purple Rain.  Swoon.  I still get chills when I watch it.  It was pouring rain and you never would have known it because Prince never let it effect him.  I can't gush enough about it.

Here's the second half of the performance.  YouTube doesn't have full clips, they are all broken into parts, so I'll leave you with the better half.

xoxo,

Blanche Sanche

Super Bowl XLVI

For all the hype, the talk about the rivalry between the Giants and the Patriots, all the fanfare, I was wicked disappointed in the game.  The first 55 minutes were a snoozefest.  I would have rather watched the Puppy Bowl than that game.  And the last 5 minutes were only comparatively exciting, since the rest of the game sucked.

I am completely convinced that there will be some report that shows up in the next week or two, telling us that Tom Brady played the postseason with an injury.  That's the only excuse for his terrible performances in the final 2 games of the year.  Now, I'm clearly not a fan of Brady, but that was not the way he normally plays.

Then there was that abomination of a halftime show.  Dear Madonna, you are 54.  Act like it.  I didn't understand the whole Romanesque motif.  I didn't understand LMFAO, or any of the cameos, for that matter.  I still don't understand why YOU were chosen as the halftime entertainment.  But I am pretty sure there were more gays watching the game last night than ever.

The commercials sucked.  I hardly cracked a smile for any of them.  I totes don't want to buy any of the products advertised.

The best part of the whole game was Kelly Clarkson singing the National Anthem.  Girl looked amazing and sounded perfect.  She was a great choice.  If only she could have been the halftime entertainment as well.

Now, football season is over and I'm left unfulfilled.  I guess we go into a football drought until the draft.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Andy Reid

Am I the only one completely shocked that Andy Reid gets to keep his job in Philadelphia for another year?  After building up the self-proclaimed "dream team", the Eagles went 8-8 this season, a nightmare in Philly by my standards.

With all that talent, they were written into the Superbowl before the season even began, yet it seemed like they couldn't make anything work on the field.  LeSean McCoy, Desean Jackson, Michael Vick, Nnamdi Asomugha,  Jason Babin, Casey Matthews, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie.... seriously, that roster is basically a who's who of the football world.  How do you lose with that talent?!!!?

Hopefully, the Eagles' decision to keep Reid as their head coach doesn't come back to bite them in the ass, but I think it will.  Actually, it's kind of fun watching them lose.