More on (or Moron) Mark Sanchez

I guess there are no dick pics (sorry, to have misled you) or none that are going to be released of Mark Sanchez, but I did find out more about this 17 year old.  I've found a name and I've found a picture and I couldn't be more underwhelmed.  Seriously.  If he's gonna bang a 17 year old, I was thinking she was going to look like Giselle.  But, no.  She is just an average teenager.  I would insult her, but she's a minor and that's petty, even for me.

From reading deadspin.com and terezowens.com, I've deciphered that she's some sort of socialite or that she knows people who know people.  I mean, she was in a club on New Year's Eve, so she's got to have some kind of connections.

Where are this girl's parents?  Why are they letting her go to clubs at 17?  Why are they letting her stay at a 24 year old man's house overnight?  I know that kids rebel and lie to their parents, but there would be no way in Hell I could ever get away with that.  Furthermore, Marky Mark, why are you busting a nut on some girl who is still in high school, asking her if she's going out on a school night?  Stop being a dipshit.  Maybe if you spent less time worrying about underage vagina, you could focus more on making completions on the field.

My words of advice: Slay bitches on the off season, Mark.  And please, card them before they enter your bedroom.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche