Eye Candy -- February 16, 2011

It's a cold, winter day today, so I'm warming it up with this hotness.  It's Pierre Thomas, #23, running back for the New Orleans Saints.  Such a handsome dude!!  He was placed on injured reserve toward the end of the season, but let's hope his ankle heals so we can watch his run game next season!

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Looks like Payton is in some trouble

I don't know much about Sean Payton, the HC of the New Orleans Saints, but in the past couple of days, I've found out a few things: he loves booze and he just moved to Dallas.  Uh... why is the head coach of the Saints moving to Cowboys territory... his old stomping grounds???

Is it because he's a boozer whose wife is tired of the trouble he's getting into in New Orleans?  Probably.  Does he have some not-so-secret deal to move to the Cowboys front office to wait out his non-compete clause before zeroing in on the HC job in Dallas?  Even more likely.

The Saints can spin his move any way they want, saying that he'll be back in the NO come football season, but I'm not buying it.  I think Payton is going to Dallas for the Cowboys, not so much to save his marriage.  

I hope, for the sake of his family, this is a good move, but that hope is motivated by purely selfish reasoning.  Head coaching spot vacated... a very eligible and capable head coach who was just ousted from being the longest tenured coach in the NFL... I think we all know where I'm going with this.

Plus, I look really good in black and gold.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

More on (or Moron) Mark Sanchez

I guess there are no dick pics (sorry, to have misled you) or none that are going to be released of Mark Sanchez, but I did find out more about this 17 year old.  I've found a name and I've found a picture and I couldn't be more underwhelmed.  Seriously.  If he's gonna bang a 17 year old, I was thinking she was going to look like Giselle.  But, no.  She is just an average teenager.  I would insult her, but she's a minor and that's petty, even for me.

From reading deadspin.com and terezowens.com, I've deciphered that she's some sort of socialite or that she knows people who know people.  I mean, she was in a club on New Year's Eve, so she's got to have some kind of connections.

Where are this girl's parents?  Why are they letting her go to clubs at 17?  Why are they letting her stay at a 24 year old man's house overnight?  I know that kids rebel and lie to their parents, but there would be no way in Hell I could ever get away with that.  Furthermore, Marky Mark, why are you busting a nut on some girl who is still in high school, asking her if she's going out on a school night?  Stop being a dipshit.  Maybe if you spent less time worrying about underage vagina, you could focus more on making completions on the field.

My words of advice: Slay bitches on the off season, Mark.  And please, card them before they enter your bedroom.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Really, Mark Sanchez?!?!?!

So now you have dick pics floating around the interwebs too?  Not to mention, they were taken by a 17 year old!!!!  Seven-fucking-teen!  I need some time to process this.

First of all, you are a professional quarterback.  You aren't at USC anymore, so boning college freshmen (or high school seniors) is wayyyyyyyyy beyond disgusting.  You can now get (and have gotten) ass from actresses and models, what could possibly be appealing about a 17 year old?  What am I going to tell our future children?

I had a hard time with you dating Meadow Soprano.  I had a hard time with the rumors about Kristin Callavari.  This might be too much for me to fathom.  I'm going to require a lot of pretty, shiny things to let this one go.

I just pray to every God in every religion that his dick pics aren't Favrean in nature.  I don't want to see Crocs, I don't want to see a tiny crooked wiener.  I don't know that my little heart can take that kind of let down, especially after this kind of news.

Merr,
Blanche Sanche