Hottest men in the NFL

As much as I love football, I also love celebrity gossip.  I should fill my brain with more useful knowledge than who Zac Effron is currently dating, but I can't help reading Perez Hilton first thing every morning.


As I was perusing Perez today, I saw he'd made a list of the "Hottest Men in the NFL".  Since there are rarely any references to football (and it was about hot dudes), I quickly clicked to see the full list and here it is:


Eli Manning
Joey Harrington
Osi Umenyiora
Tiki Barber
Peyton Manning
Kyle Boller
Donovan McNabb
Jay Cutler
Aaron Rodgers
Kellen Winslow
Matt Leinhart
Tony Gonzales
Chad Ochocinco


Now, I'm sincerely hoping that these are in no particular order because there is NO WAY Sanche and Jason Taylor should be at the bottom of the list, while Eli Manning takes the number one spot.


I have several issues with this list.  First and foremost, Jay Cutler is absolutely unattractive and should never be included on a list of hot people.  He's the worst.  I can even understand how some people could find Tom Brady (barfffffff) attractive, but not Jay Cutler.


Clearly, Perez knows nothing about football.  Hello!  Tiki doesn't even play football anymore.  Why wouldn't you put Ronde on the list if you are so inclined to include a Barber?  And Adam Vinatieri?!?!  Who includes a kicker?


Now I understand no list will be fully comprehensive, but there are some very glaring omissions.  Austin Collie!    He is one beautiful man, one of the most beautiful to ever play the game.  Other notable mentions: Josh Freeman, Bernard Berrian, Arian Foster, Scotty McKnight, Tyler Sash, Danny Watkins, Cortland Finnegan, Jason Babin, Clay Matthews, Rob Gronkowski (I don't think he's hot, but others might), and Dustin Keller.  Tebow didn't even make the list and he's the son of God!


I'm gonna have to sit down and make my own list of NFL hotties.  Keep a look out.


xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Eye Candy -- November 17, 2011

In honor of tonight's game against Denver, Mark Sanchez, quarterback of the New York Jets.  I was in attendance at last year's game in Denver, so I'm pretty much just crying at my desk since I can't be there this year.  All I want in life is to watch the Jets cream Tebow and his stupid face.  Guess I'll have to settle for watching this year's game on TV.  Saddest of sad mittens.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Eye Candy -- November 16, 2011

Arian Foster, running back for the Houston Texans.  Not only is this dude a beast on the field, but I sincerely believe that he's a genuinely nice human being.  I just started following him on Twitter ( @ArianFoster) and he tweets some of the sweetest things I've ever heard from a football player.  He often starts the hashtag #RAOC (random act of kindess) and sends love to his fans and haters alike.  He makes you believe that he is just a good dude who happens to be really great at football.  He's a rarity now-a-days.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Overwhelmed

I'm a terrible blogger.  I've contemplated writing many different entries, but they've never come to fruition.  Possibly because my fantasy football season is absolutely devastating and embarrassing to write about or, perhaps, because I know no one reads this anyway.  Whatever the reason, I'm gonna try again.

First and foremost, I have to get this off my chest: Why are people so mean to Mark Sanchez?  Seriously, I need to know.  All week, I've been reading about how much of a failure he is and how he needs to step up his game.  Now, I know he isn't the greatest QB to ever play the game, but Jesus, cut him some slack.  I watched the New England game on Sunday and what I saw wasn't as much of a Sanchez fail as it was a team fail.  The interception that bounced of the hands and helmet of Shonn Greene, not Sanche's fault.  The inability of the defense to get within 3 feet of Tom Brady, again, not the fault of Sanchez.  Overall, he had a pretty great game with 2 touchdowns and over 300 passing yards.  So, why does the blame fall consistently on his shoulders?

In addition, why is everyone talking about Alex Smith like he's all of the sudden some demigod in San Francisco?  Statistically, he's having a better season than Sanche, but he's made fewer throws, fewer touchdowns and he's been on the team for SIX years with NO production until now!  I've watched Niner games and I'm constantly baffled by how terrible Smith is.  The Niners rely solely on their phenomenal defense and running game to win, not on their QB.  It seems that all of his seasons of suckitude have now been erased because of this 8-1 year.

It seems to be forgotten that with Sanchez at the helm, the Jets went to the NFC championship two years in a row.  I'm not saying that it was because of him, lord knows it wasn't, but he was obviously playing well enough to get his team through to big games and he came through in clutch situations.  Alex Smith hasn't done dick for his team since they wasted their first round draft pick on him and still, they throw money at him and pay him for his poor performance.

Is it because he's so pretty?  Is it because he's the kind of guy who makes an easy target?  There are far worse QBs in the league than Sanche, yet he's the first one to be criticized by everyone in the media.  Go bother Tony Romo, Chad Henne, Rex Grossman, Donovan McNabb, or... do the Seahawks even have a quarterback???

All I'm saying is this, people need to have more confidence in Mark Sanchez.  When you get him in a hurry up offense, no huddle with the clock winding down, he's on fire.  When you give him the opportunity to throw those 10-12 yard throws, he's money.  It's when they start trying to go back to the "ground and pound" offense and when he gets too much time to get lost in his own head that things go awry.  He's solid in production, pretty mobile in the pocket and he just needs people to throw a tiny bit of confidence his way.

And I'm not just saying this because I want to have all of his babies.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

My new favorite Jet

Scotty McKnight, rookie Wide Receiver, New York Jets.  Also, BFF of Mark Sanchez.  What's not to love about Scotty?  He's handsome, funny, and a hard worker.    Plus, he promises that one day we will karaoke NSYNC together.  I'm just waiting for him to make good on his promise...

In case you aren't totally sold, here are a couple more photos that showcase the amazingness that is Scotty.

Yep.  Follow him on Twitter, smcknight21!

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Lord Have Mercy!

If this doesn't get you excited for Monday Night Football between the Jets and Texans, I don't know what will.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Danny Watkins

I picked this handsome fella out during the draft.  Not only is he Canadian, but he's a fire fighter and he's a 26 year old rookie.  Though he was drafted to the Eagles, I knew I'd have to root for him because he's so amazing.
This week, he blew me away again when his teammate, Mike Patterson, had a seizure during practice and Danny was right there to help stabilize him.  Seriously, could this dude be more perfect?  I'm completely smitten.
I hate that I have to cheer for a team that has a convicted dog killer, a suicidal nutcase (Vince Young) and my favorite ex-Titan, Jason Babin, but for that face, I will suck it up.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

A little something to brighten my day

I know there are far more important things happening in the football world at this moment (t minus 25 hours until the lockout), but Chord Overstreet (the Bieber-haired blond boy on Glee) just posted this photo and my heart did a happy dance.  Mark Sanchez + Mark Salling + Wii = Personal Heaven.  I would sell a body part to be a part of this photo.  However, in light of Mr. Sanchez' current scandal, I don't think it's appropriate for him to be hanging out on the set of Glee.  Too much temptation for him, don't you think???

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Eye Candy -- February 19, 2011

Brady Quinn, #9, quarterback, currently with the Denver Broncos.  I honestly know nothing about him, other than he used to be on the Browns (I actually had to Google where he was playing now because I wasn't sure).  However, he's pretty cute in the preppy nerd kind of way.  It just sucks that he's on a Denver squad that is NEVER going to play him, thanks to K-Ort and Jesus Boy Tebow.  Poor Brady Quinn.  Maybe he can go somewhere else so we can see his face more often.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Eye Candy -- February 18, 2011

Who doesn't love Peyton Manning?  From his vast talent as the quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts to his hilarious TV commercials, I find it impossible to resist him.  He might not be the best looking guy out there, but his sense of humor more than makes up for it.

He won my heart with this commercial:

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Eye Candy -- February 17, 2011

 

Not only does he have my favorite last name in football, but Frank Zombo, #58, OLB for the Green Bay Packers isn't hard on the eyes either.  He looks a little more Guido than I usually like, but I'm not judging.  He's still good to look at!

xoxo,

Blanche Sanche

Eye Candy -- February 16, 2011

It's a cold, winter day today, so I'm warming it up with this hotness.  It's Pierre Thomas, #23, running back for the New Orleans Saints.  Such a handsome dude!!  He was placed on injured reserve toward the end of the season, but let's hope his ankle heals so we can watch his run game next season!

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Eye Candy -- February 15, 2011

Today is a 2-for-1.  The Barber twins, Tiki and Ronde, have been my favorites for years.  I saw them do an episode of Say What? Karaoke on MTV when I was in high school and I've adored them since.  Tiki retired as #21, running back, New York Giants, but Ronde, #20, corner back, Tampa Bay Buccaneers was still playing last season.  He may be retiring this year, but I think he has at least another season left in him.

I'm partial to Tiki (even though he left his very pregnant wife for some other broad), in the way that I'm partial to Ashley Olsen over Mary-Kate.  You've always got to have a favorite twin.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Eye Candy -- February 14, 2011

Trying to pick my Valentine's Day eye candy has proven difficult.  I could go with the obvious choice of Mark Sanchez, but I've written about him, and his indiscretions, enough lately.  And there is only one man in football that I have ever loved more than Sanche, so today's choice is the late Steve McNair, #9, quarterback for the Tennessee Titans (and Baltimore Ravens).

You will always be my Valentine, Steve!

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Eye Candy -- February 13, 2011

Josh Freeman, #5, quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers has made quite an impression on my over the past few months.  Not only did he bring my Fantasy Football team to greatness, but his sweet face is so swoon worthy!  I just adore him and can't wait to see more of him in the future!

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Eye Candy -- February 12, 2011

Austin Collie, Wide Receiver, #17 for the Indianapolis Colts.  Probably the most accident prone player in the game, but, good Lord, he's pretty.  Too bad he's a good Mormon boy.  I would love to corrupt him!

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Eye Candy -- February 11, 2011

Today's deliciousness comes courtesy of the Minnesota Vikings.  This is Bernard Berrian, Wide Receiver, #87.  I stumbled upon BB while watching the highly addictive show, Minute to Win It, and I've thanked my lucky stars ever since.  He is one of two redeeming quality about the Vikings. (Hint: the other is NOT Brett Favre's junk)

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Eye Candy -- February 10, 2011

Today's eye candy is Jason Taylor, #99, OLB for the New York Jets (formerly, the Miami Dolphins).  Some men should be banned from wearing shirts and he is one of them.

More on (or Moron) Mark Sanchez

I guess there are no dick pics (sorry, to have misled you) or none that are going to be released of Mark Sanchez, but I did find out more about this 17 year old.  I've found a name and I've found a picture and I couldn't be more underwhelmed.  Seriously.  If he's gonna bang a 17 year old, I was thinking she was going to look like Giselle.  But, no.  She is just an average teenager.  I would insult her, but she's a minor and that's petty, even for me.

From reading deadspin.com and terezowens.com, I've deciphered that she's some sort of socialite or that she knows people who know people.  I mean, she was in a club on New Year's Eve, so she's got to have some kind of connections.

Where are this girl's parents?  Why are they letting her go to clubs at 17?  Why are they letting her stay at a 24 year old man's house overnight?  I know that kids rebel and lie to their parents, but there would be no way in Hell I could ever get away with that.  Furthermore, Marky Mark, why are you busting a nut on some girl who is still in high school, asking her if she's going out on a school night?  Stop being a dipshit.  Maybe if you spent less time worrying about underage vagina, you could focus more on making completions on the field.

My words of advice: Slay bitches on the off season, Mark.  And please, card them before they enter your bedroom.

xoxo,
Blanche Sanche

Really, Mark Sanchez?!?!?!

So now you have dick pics floating around the interwebs too?  Not to mention, they were taken by a 17 year old!!!!  Seven-fucking-teen!  I need some time to process this.

First of all, you are a professional quarterback.  You aren't at USC anymore, so boning college freshmen (or high school seniors) is wayyyyyyyyy beyond disgusting.  You can now get (and have gotten) ass from actresses and models, what could possibly be appealing about a 17 year old?  What am I going to tell our future children?

I had a hard time with you dating Meadow Soprano.  I had a hard time with the rumors about Kristin Callavari.  This might be too much for me to fathom.  I'm going to require a lot of pretty, shiny things to let this one go.

I just pray to every God in every religion that his dick pics aren't Favrean in nature.  I don't want to see Crocs, I don't want to see a tiny crooked wiener.  I don't know that my little heart can take that kind of let down, especially after this kind of news.

Merr,
Blanche Sanche